I'm currently lying on the couch with a glowing red ball of pain in my lower back. After spending all day digging in the yard (I never did find my safe), I went inside for a drink. I was wiping the dirt off my shoes when I felt a screaming pain in my lower back. I spent the next few minutes lying on the floor looking at the ceiling fan, praying death would be swift. I have now made my way to the couch. I turned on the TV, and guess what was on... an infomercial for Back2life, your personal back pain therapist.