F Minus Weekly Roundup: 10-22

Click here to read the comics from Oct 22nd through Oct 28th

Oct 22: I went scuba diving once off the coast of Nicaragua and I got to feed sharks and giant sea turtles. It's was great. But no tigers.

Oct 23: Is it weird that the cow bought milk? I didn't really think about it at the time.

Oct 25: Lately I have been addicted to pomegranates. I get these giant juicy pomegranates at Costco. They are a lot of work to eat, but I enjoy the process. Anyway, last week my supply ran out but I didn't want to go all the way back to Costco, so I picked some up at a local grocery store. They were pathetic. Half the size and taste of the Costco fruit. So that's where this comic came from.
I don't know if pomegranates are addictive, but I've been eating a lot of them. A lot.
Fun fact: The word 'grenade' comes from the word pomegranate... or pomegranate from grenade. I can't remember which.

Oct 26: I received an electronic fart machine (with remote control) as a gift from someone who knows me well. I keep it by the phone for when telemarketers call. It gets a lot of use.

Oct 28: I'm proud of this cityscape, I'll admit it. Look at the grocery bag! It looks a lot like the cow grocery bag from the 23rd. A lot of produce this week.

Great quote on cartooning:

"You know what? You people should be ashamed of yourselves! You know, ya doodle a couple of bears at a cocktail party, talkin' about the stock market, ya think you're doing comedy!"
-Elaine Benes

Party. Pizza party.

Here are my top five restaurants for pizza in AZ:

1. Nello's Pizza in Tempe. If you can work at a restaurant for 5 (non-consecutive) years and STILL love the food, that's saying something. Order the F Minus. (Well, don't call it that or they won't know what you're talking about.) It's pepperoni, pineapple, and bacon on their delicious deep-dish crust. And if you're really feeling crazy, add light onions. By the way, you can see an F Minus comic framed and hanging in the waiting area. map
2. Cucina Paradiso in Payson. An unlikely place for a great pizza, but they have the best crust I've ever had. Warning: I heard they may have changed their name. I haven't been there in a while. map

3. La Grande Orange in Phoenix. They make a pizza and then, if you want, they will crack an egg right on top before the cook it. I call it the good morning pizza. I recently realized that I can crack an egg over just about anything and improve it fifty percent. map

4. Classic Italian Pizza in Tempe. You can't tell from the front, but this place has some great brick-oven pizza and a nice atmosphere. And it's right next to my barber. Just an interesting fact. map

5. Giovanni Pizza Bistro in Tempe. Don't be fooled by the dollar store and shoe repair business that share the corner with this place. Inside they have delicious Italian food and a romantic atmosphere. (wink!) I've never been there at lunchtime, but I hear they have a good buffet. Oh, and they also have free wireless internet so you can read my blogs while you eat. map

F Minus Weekly Roundup: 10-15

Click here to read the comics from Oct 15th through Oct 21st

10-15: I feel I need to explain why I'm making fun of St. Louis, and will probably continue to do so.
Last Christmas I did a comic that mentioned St. Louis. The comic didn't have anything to do with the city, it just sounded right in the caption. Completely random choice. However, some St. Louisan sent me an angry letter (an actual letter) that criticized my ignorance of his city and listed some of the positive things St. Louis has to offer (mainly the baseball team).
While I have nothing against St. Louis, I do have something against letter-writers. So in the future, if I feel the need to make fun of a city, it will probably be St. Louis.

10-16: I've been selling some old junk on Craigslist lately, and that's what gave me this idea. It's weird how willing some people are to take completely worthless crap from strangers.

10-18: I don't know what an automatic bench-warmer would look like, but I'm guessing it runs on clean, efficient propane.

10-20: I was in Las Vegas, and I was wandering around in the Bellagio, when I noticed a crowed gathering behind a velvet rope that someone had used to block off a courtyard area. Everyone was standing around looking into the courtyard. Nothing was happening, so I started asking what everyone was looking at. Nobody seemed to know. Lesson learned: Put up a velvet rope, and people will gather.

10-21: This is the real Beverly:

Old Interview

Check out this interview with DaRK PaRTY ReVIEW from almost a year ago...

Ahoy!

Look what I found! Can you believe someone was just throwing this out? If you're anything like my girlfriend, your answer is "Yes. Why aren't you throwing it out?" But she let me use her car to bring it home anyway.
I foresee some ship-related comics in our future!

F Minus Weekly Roundup: 9-24

Click here to read the comics from September 24th through Oct 14th
9-24:

9-25: Cats are overdone in the comics, but they are so odd that it's hard to avoid sometimes. And they are fun to draw.

9-26: The creepy old hobo is back with some soggy grapefruits. We had a grapefruit tree in the backyard where I grew up, and I set up a booby-trap that would release a boxful of soggy old grapefruit down on the head of anyone that tried to get into my tree house. Nobody ever tried though. I had another trap that shot an arrow at anyone that got too close to the tree, and I very nearly killed my dog with it. Close one!

9-27: Is it clear that he's taking down the wet paint signs and putting up the dry paint signs? I wasn't sure.

10-1: This is the face you have to make when doing a British accent:







10-2: I've been to several karaoke places recently for some reason, but I never sing. I just haven't found the right song yet. They never have 'Banana Phone'.

10-3: I figured someone would complain about the dog chess comic, but nobody did. Maybe I should have made them sword-fighting.

10-5: Love Mail! Hello Mr. Carrillo, My husband reads in the shower daily by holding a paperback book with one hand and standing just far enough away from the water to not get the book wet. The pages are turned using his thumb. I really got a kick out of your Oct 5 comic panel so much that I sent him a copy of it to his office. I enjoy reading your comic panels everyday, keep up the great work.

10-7: You know, I've done several comics with religious themes, but nobody has ever complained. In fact, they are usually popular. This comic looks a lot better online than it did in print. It was too dark in the papers, but I think it looks really nice on the computer.

10-8: A lot of people liked this monster comic. The question I didn't try to explain (and no one actually asked) is, who are these monster-removal guys? Can you find them in the phone book?

10-9: I recently took part in a market research group. I gave my opinion on some insurance ads. But I could see the researchers behind the one-way mirror because some lady kept opening a door and letting light into the other room. So I kept smiling and winking at them.
Ever since I did my first market research group, I've been paranoid about public mirrors in bathrooms, hotels, etc. Just a little something new for you to worry about.

10-10: Clocks... Only one person noticed the Pearls Before Swine clock on the wall.

10-12: Va-va-va-voom!

10-13: Does anyone remember the show Ducktales? Scrooge McDuck had a money room where he swam around in gold coins. Well I'm here to tell you, that wouldn't work.
And what about the show TaleSpin? What was the deal with that show? A cargo-pilot bear (Baloo) and his orphan buddy that gets pulled behind the plane on a wakeboard try to avoid Air-pirates. What? They don't make cartoons like they used to.

Something to fall back on

There I was, working at my desk and minding my own business, when suddenly I hear a loud cracking noise, and the back of my chair snaps off!

Luckily, I have the reflexes of a jungle cat. I was able to grab on to the desk and avoid an awkward trip to the floor.

The first thing I did was call my gym and set up an appointment with a personal trainer under the name "Heavy McFatass".
But when I examined the chair a little more closely I realized that the back of the chair was being held in place by less than an inch of cheap Ikea plastic. I decided to cancel my appointment at the gym and instead go buy a new chair and a pizza.
Actually I've been sitting on the base of the broken chair today, and I think it's improving my posture. Silver lining found!

Mark Trail

Check it out! I got my hands on an original Mark Trail comic. Very cool. I love this old school style. This is getting framed.

I think adding a suave, pipe-smoking outdoorsman to each of my comics would really help. And he wouldn't be a part of the joke, he would just add a witty observation about each comic, like: "Now that's what I call a hot-dog!"

Time is on my side

Normally I would wait for the weekly roundup to talk about this, but I'm getting some awesome Hate Mail, and I can't wait to share it. Here's today's comic: Apparently some people are completely missing the boat on this one. As I write this, it's ten a.m. and I've already had four professors of cleverness write me to inform me of... well, I'll let you read it:

I liked reading your comic, but now I have lost all respect and interest for it because of a very obvious mistake that doesn't make any sense. In the comic, a person at a ckock shop is handing a clock back to a coustomer and saying "I'm afraid this clock is too badly damaged to repair. In fact, it's only right once a day."

That statement would only be true if the clock was an electronic one that was set on 24-hour time (as the military uses; 6 pm would be read as 18:00 on the clock). In contrast, an analog clock would be correct TWICE a day if it was stopped. This even reminded me of the riddle "Which is better; a clock that is (x) minutes fast/slow or one that is stopped?" Obviously the correct answer is the one which is stopped, as it would show the correct time twice a day. In the future, please double-check for inconsistencies that are incorrect and not related to the joke line of the comic.

... the author of the next letter was not quite so angry, but a little more smug:

Hi ..

This cartoon should have said ... "its only right twice a day"

because the hands are on 10 or 11 o'clock . If they were on 12 o'clock ... then you could say

" Its only right once a day" ....

sorry .. I am an engineer ... we are quick to recognize always see these kinds of faults

I'm sure I'll get more letters during the day, so I'm going to do something I hate to do. I will explain this joke for all the other smarty-pants out there:

The comic is a play on the old phrase "even a broken clock is right twice a day". The clock the customer brought in is so broken, that it's only right once a day. Get it?

The thing that boggles my mind is that everyone that wrote me is familiar with that old phrase, yet they still didn't get the joke. I could understand someone being confused if they had never heard it, but they all mention it in their letter, as if to say, Here's a little something to help you remember how clocks work! Well thank you, Einstein. Do you have a little phrase to help me understand relativity too?

As a result of these letters, I've decided to add a new feature to F Minus comics: The Big Red Arrow of Comedy. It's intended to help engineers and the like to find exactly where in the comic I am using "humor". On a slightly different note, I've noticed when someone writes me just to tell me I suck and I'm not funny, they don't sign their name. But when they are writing to point out my ignorance, they include their full name, job title, and address. That way I can mail a letter of apology and ask them to be my life coach.
I'll post more funny letters about this comic, if any.

EDIT: Hey, the engineer wrote back...

Hey Thanks for the reply ...

I had forgotten about this. anyway .... I stand corrected (maybe) . 12o'clock would also be correct twice a day... but you could argue that 5o'clock is both 5am and 5pm .. they are both on the same day but there is only one 12 noon and you can say 12midnight is the start of the next day ...so in a 24 hour period you can have only one 12o'clock or 3 in a 48hr period ( using that logic).

What do you think ..?

My response:

I think you might want to check that logic again, James. If midnight is applied to the start of the next day, that means THAT day starts with a 12 midnight and has a twelve noon. That's twice. The next day will also start with a twelve and have a twelve noon, and so on to infinity. So every day will have two 12's. A 48 hour period will have four 12's.
They test us on all this stuff before becoming cartoonists.
-Tony

EDIT: The letters keep coming...
Included are my responses in blue. I try to keep my response at a politeness level greater than or equal to that of the letter I received. It's not easy.

Subject: Clock Repairs

Your cartoon about clocks that don't run was half right. "In fact", a stopped clock shows the correct time twice a day . . . once in the AM and once in the PM.

I assume that mine was not the only message on the subject.

(Name Omitted)
Lancaster,PA
National Association of Watch & Clock Collectors . . . memb.#582**

Nope, you weren't the only person to write me. "In fact", many other people misunderstood this comic. You see, the comic is a play on the old phrase "even a broken clock is right twice a day" (referring to someone that is usually wrong, but sometimes has the right idea). The clock in the cartoon is SO broken, it's right only ONCE a day. Of course, this is impossible; hence-> humor.
-Tony Carrillo
National Association of Clock Comic Writers... memb.#1

Subject: Oops! You get an F Minus on this one...
A comment about your F Minus cartoon that appeared in the Knoxville News Sentinel on October 10. The cartoon depicts a clock repair shop and the proprietor is saying to a lady "I'm afraid this clock is too badly damaged to repair. In fact, it's only right once a day." Any typical clock with a dial face shows only twelve hours, which means a broken clock will always display the correct time twice per day. My schoolteacher wife says you get an "F Minus" on this one.
(Name Omitted)
Kingston, TN

Uh, teacher... I'd like to contest that grade. You see, the cartoon is based on the old phrase, "Even a broken clock is right twice a day". The clock in this comic is SO broken it's only right ONCE a day, which is of course, impossible: that's what makes it funny.
If you'd like to stay and study after class, maybe I can give you some extra credit.
Thanks for the email!
-Tony Carrillo

Subject: Clock
A clock that is only, right once a day, must be a 24 hour clock. The back ground shows only 12 hour clocks. A 12 hour clock that is stopped is right twice a day.
(Name Omitted)
Charlotte NC 28226

Yes I know, Guy. The comic is play on that old phrase, "even a broken clock is right twice a day". The clock in the comic is SO broken, it's only right once a day. Of course this is impossible, which is why it's a joke.
But thanks for playing our game!
-Tony Carrillo

So this is my day. Tired of it yet? I am.