Thar she blows!

"It must have rained last night." I thought innocently as I inspected my front yard yesterday morning. Then I noticed that my neighbor's yards were bone dry, and only the gutters in front of my house had water in them. "Nuts" I thought.
After the city told me it was my problem, I started pulling back the gravel and found that the water was still flowing steadily from somewhere under the earth. Eventually, I discovered an old forgotten landscape beneath mine. Like unearthing an ancient civilization, I felt the thrill that Indiana Jones must know as I found decorative brick, a tree stump, and a different kind of gravel that was simply covered over by primitive landscapers.
Fresh water was now flowing out of the earth like an Artesian well. I shut off the water to the house and began digging. This continued for some time. Deeper and deeper I dug without any sign of the source of the water, and I began to suspect I had found a natural spring. As I was wondering about the startup costs of a bottling company, I found a cracked pipe. I turned the water back on to see if it was the culprit, and sure enough, water sprayed high into the air as if from the back of some new species of desert whale. After a quick trip to Ace Hardware, I plunged headfirst into the hole, and spent the rest of the afternoon repairing the pipe. To anyone passing by, I must have looked like the victim of a horrible sky-dive accident. Finally, as the sun began to set, I crawled backwards out of the hole to observe my work.
I had a very manly conversation with my neighbor, Ralph: "Yeah, I went with the telescoping coupling to avoid further digging" I'd say. "Sounds about right", he'd reply, and so on. After the pvc cement dried, I turned the water back on. No drips. A successful repair.

Ralph mentioned he had a leak in his backyard. "Bummer" I replied. An awkward silence followed.