Update: Imminent Death of "Big Hat Barry" confirmed

News of impending death draws criticism, apathy.
Tempe, Arizona-- After a frenzy of rumors flooded the internet, F Minus creator Tony Carrillo decided to reveal which of the estimated 800 F Minus "characters" would die next week. His name is Barry, but he has been referred to as "Big Hat Barry" and "Blind Date Barry". His signature trait is a carnation worn in his lapel.

It is still unclear how Barry will meet his end, although it has been indicated by Carrillo that it may have to do with an oversized hat. For years, Carrillo has sought to raise awareness of the dangers of wearing unusually large hats for the purposes of fashion, sport, or otherwise.
The first and only appearance of the unfortunate character was in September of 2006. The comic (seen below) suggests that Barry was a spirited single in his mid-thirties, and active in the dating scene. Reaction to the news has been mixed.
"I think I remember that guy."
-Doug, Des Moines, IA
"Aren't comics supposed to be cute and funny? Why can't they just be about kitties? My neighbor's sister was seriously hurt by a big hat!"
-Jen, Cleveland, OH
"I hope Carrillo continues this shift towards a more serious F Minus. There's not enough seriousness in the funny pages if you ask me. People need to "heavy up".
-Winston, Milwaukee, WI
"I just wish it was the Creepy Old Hobo. I hate that guy."
-Blaine, St. Louis, MO

F Minus Creator To Kill Off Character

Tempe, Arizona-- Tony Carrillo, the creator of the daily comic strip F Minus, revealed that one of his characters will be "killed off" next week. The nature of the death is unclear, and a cryptic statement by Carrillo has drawn much speculation:
"The ultimate goal of my comic strip is to bring attention to important issues, and that includes the danger of oversized hats."
The identity of the doomed character has yet to be revealed.

F Minus is a single-panel comic that appears daily in about 125 newspapers.

Book Smarts vs. Stupid Smarts

Here is an email I received this morning, and my reply:

Dear Sir:
...I’m 26, and I’m from Baltimore, Maryland. I’ve read a little bit about your strip and your background online. I must say, I have read your strip for several months now and never laughed (nay, smiled) even once. This especially puzzles me since it would seem I am squarely in your target demographic. Am I missing something? Your strip is so consistently nonsensical it boggles my mind. (By the way, I’m a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of a private college, so I like to think I can puzzle this stuff out). Could you please explain it to me? Thank you.
Just hit “reply”


Howdy howdy friend! I'm glad you explained how to reply to your email, cuz I kept clicking random buttons but nothing happened! Anyways, I think I know what the problem is... you're too danged smart! See, I'm no Pie Butta Katta graduate like you. I went to a public college (yuck!) and before that I went to the Southwest School for Stupid Boys. We learned how to scrawl simple pictures and things like that. We never did no puzzle solvin' like at your fancy school.
You need to read stuff for smarter people! Stuff like newspapers and owner manuals and no-picture books. F Minus is just too dumb for a smarty-pants like you!
From, Tony
Now how do I send this dang thi....

I feel happy!

I just realized that three of my comics this week have been about death. I don't know what my state of mind was when I wrote them. I've actually been in a pretty good mood.

Ten points if you can identify the quote:
"Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be ...without honor."
Twenty points if you identify the quote from the title of this blog.

EDIT: Speak of the devil... death showed up on CIDU today. Just a tip: F Minus will never contain an intentional reference to Star Trek.

Wait wait...

Last night I attended a taping of my favorite radio show, Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me! on NPR. It was fascinating to see how a radio show works. The guest was the governor of my great state, Janet Napolitano. She was funny. Afterwards, I got to meet a show regular, Kyrie O'Connor. She's the deputy managing editor at the Houston Chronicle (The Chronicle was one of the first papers to pick up F Minus). It turns out she's a big F Minus fan! You can read Kyrie's blog at http://blogs.chron.com/memo/

Sports Moment

It looks like Shaq is coming to the Phoenix Suns. I've been booing Shaq for such a long time, it's going to be difficult to make the mental shift. Also, we're loosing one of my favorite players, Shawn Marion. But Shaq could be the big guy the Suns have been needing. I don't know how to feel. I need to go lie down.